The daily questions

I have lost track of the number of times I have been asked,” what is this auntie?” “sister, why do you have so many things for your face?” On a daily basis the children will pick up every single thing in sight and comment or question. I am fully aware that I am a walking CVS, and have enough medicines and beauty products to supply an army. But what I’m realizing now as I explain myself to the children is that I never use these things! “Then why do you have it if you don’t use it?” Why has it taken a five year old to make me understand that I have way too much crap and it is all a waste of money?!!

The un-comical side to all this is when the children say, “oh auntie/sister you are so rich!” “No, I’m not” I insist. But then I realize that in comparison I really am. This is the hard part of being so close to the children. I am so grateful that they are comfortable enough to come into my room (always asking first, “may I come in?”), share stories, and ask about my day. But, I don’t like them having the perception that I am rich. I haven't been employed for over a year, but they have no conception of credit cards and the pointless debt I carry around. This totally negates my feeling as being their sister, as part of the family. I’m hoping this feeling remains when I return to the states and fall into the trap of Target….roaming for hours and putting pointless things in the shopping cart.

I also had this experience in Thailand with the children of the orphanage. Because Jennryn and I took taxis to the site, we were seen as “others” because we had the wealth to pay for this service. We started having the taxis drop us off away from the orphanage so we could create the perception that we were walking there.

So now, back in that yucky feeling of being viewed as overprivileged, I think I’m going to have to keep all my “stuff” tucked away. It’s funny how in America I am accepted to be a poor, unemployed graduate student. But, here in Nepal, simply because I lug around what I feel are necessitites, I’m viewed as rich. Here at AmaGhar (and most of Nepal) shampoo is considered a luxury item which is too expensive to be used. A simple bar of soap does the trick for the entire body. I tried this for about a week, but never seemed to feel clean enough! So, a few times a week, I indulge myself with a bit of shampoo and conditioner!